


What Leonard Snart Knows

by Kitty514



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Len is in denial that he has feelings, M/M, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-05-17 09:03:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5863045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitty514/pseuds/Kitty514
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's no way Leonard Snart has feelings for Barry Allen. That would be insane. Right? Right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cold as Hell

**Author's Note:**

> First fic for the coldflash fandom, so hey how's it going? The first chapter is pretty short but the following chapters should hopefully be longer. Thanks for reading!

The first thing Leonard Snart knows: it’s cold. Like Dante’s Inferno ninth circle of hell cold. He knows this because, as of right now, his face is being shoved into the frozen ground by Barry Allen’s knee. And contrary to the name Captain Cold, he’s still susceptible to icy weather.

“Ge’ the fu’ offa me.” Len manages to grunt out. If Barry knees his cheek even harder, it’s going to leave a bruise- at least a worse one than what’s already coming. He’s got a split lip, too, the blood congealing on his chin in the cold weather. 

Barry leans forward for a split second- and Len’s jaw protests under the extra weight- before he stands up. Len rolls over in relief onto his back to look up at him. Barry’s face is flushed, his hard breathing condensing into white clouds in front of his face. 

That’s the second thing Leonard knows: Barry Allen is pissed at him. 

“You almost killed that guard back there, Snart.” Barry snaps. He reaches up to pull back his cowl. His eyebrows are drawn together, hazel eyes glinting with barely controlled anger. 

They’re in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by snow and abandoned warehouses, without worries that anyone would see them. Barry had super-speed-dragged Len there from an art museum where he had been attempting to steal a priceless painting on his own. Barry had been upset enough to forget he had super speed for a moment, instead opting to lunge at Len and punch him in the face. And then Len was on the ground with Barry on top of him. 

Len lets his head fall back, the snow and ice numbing his skin. “The guard was never in danger, Scarlet. He wasn’t even in the path of my gun.” He forces himself up onto his feet, wobbling for a second as the world around him spun. He quickly regains his composure, though, glaring in Barry’s direction. 

“It was too close. If he had been just a foot to the left, he would be dead right now.” Barry’s fists clench and unclench, along with his jaw. “You’re better than this, Leonard.” 

Somehow, this hits a nerve that Len wasn’t aware he had. Len stalks toward Barry, stopping a couple feet from him. “You don’t need to tell me who I am, Red.” His voice is pitched low and close to a growl. 

Barry seems to deflate after a tense moment, his shoulders dropping and face smoothing over. “Right.” He says in a flat voice. He’s stopped looking at Len. He turns and starts to walk away from Len, boots sliding slightly on the hidden ice patches. 

Len sighs quietly before turning away from the Scarlet Speedster to head in the opposite direction. He’s taken about ten steps when he hears a loud thump and a quiet yelp from behind him. Len turns around, spotting Barry sprawled out on the ground. Len doesn’t even think when he approaches Barry’s side. His long limbs are spread out in all directions, and his eyes are clenched shut. 

“Don’t. Say. Anything.” Barry spits out, his face turning red from what Len believes is embarrassment. He groans softly. “I think I broke my hip.” 

Len can’t hold back the amused smile that fights its way onto his face. He trains it into a smirk quickly. He nudges Barry in the side with the toe of his boot. “You heal fast. You’ll be fine.” 

Barry opens his eyes, glaring up at Len. “Either help me up or stop making fun of me.” 

A scoff escapes Len’s lips. He extends a hand out to Barry, who grasps it tightly and lets Len pull him back up. There’s snow stuck in his hair and down his back. Snow is still all over Len as well, but he’s too cold to feel it. It’s late, and he’s tired, and Barry is close. And suddenly Barry strikes him as attractive. He’s way prettier than Len can remember, with his hair sticking all over the place and face softened and deep hazel eyes and freckles and long neck and- 

Fuck. Len definitely got knocked around harder than he thought, and now his head is messed up. Right, makes more sense than him actually being attracted to Barry Allen. To the Flash. That would be weird. 

Len takes a few steps back from Barry. “I’m assuming you aren’t going to take me back to the museum, even after I graciously offered my hand to you.” That sounded vaguely sexually. Chill, Len, chill. 

A tilt of the chin from Barry confirms Len’s statement. Seems like he’d be walking home. Len hums in response and pushes past Barry to start his trudge back to the closest hideout. The crunch of snow and ice underfoot is the only sound for a few seconds. 

Then, Barry’s voice carries to his ears. “Hey, Cold?” 

The crunching stops while Len pauses, not turning around. “Yeah, Red?” 

A beat of silence. 

“The Rogues aren’t the only people on your side. You… you have me, too.” 

Len starts to turn around then, but a flash of lightning passes by him. And he’s left standing by himself in the freezing weather surrounded by empty warehouses. 

And there’s the third thing Leonard knows: he’s royally screwed when it comes to Barry Allen. 


	2. Chinese food and Coincidences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard goes out to eat and runs into a familiar person.

Leonard throws himself onto the nearest couch, legs shooting up into the air for a second before falling over the top of the couch. He’s tired and cold and his face hurts after his encounter with The Flash. He burrows further into his parka, the fur lining of the hood tickling his cheeks.

The hideout he finally ended up in is close to quiet, but not quite there. Mick is moving about in the large, mostly empty room, and checking over his gun. Len’s eyes slowly start to close against his will. He’s almost asleep when Mick drops something on his chest. Len starts and grabs at the object, blinking away the incoming tiredness. He looks down at his hands, which are now holding a small first-aid kit. Len sighs and reluctantly stands up from the couch. 

As he makes his way to the bathroom, Mick glances up from the table he’s standing over and tells him he looks like shit. Len grumbles an obscenity back. The cramped bathroom is brightly lit, and Len realizes as he looks in the mirror that Mick was actually trying to warn him of the ugly state of his face instead of starting banter. 

There’s a darkening purple and yellow bruise climbing up the left side of his jaw and onto to his cheek, ending just under his temple. His busted lip has started bleeding again, fresh red blood spilling out over the dull rust-colored dried blood. Len catches his eyes in the mirror. He notes the dark circles under them as he briefly studies the shallow winkles that have been forming by his eyes and on his forehead the past couple of years. 

He hasn’t really felt his age until now. Leonard knows that this moment was a long time coming, but it still throws him off for a moment. And even worse is that he’s thinking about Barry, as well. Barry, who’s so full of youthful energy and idealism. It annoys him and makes him slightly envious at the same time. Len doesn’t want to admit to himself that the kid is maybe sort-of completely invading his thoughts all too often lately. His fight with him doesn’t make anything better, either. 

Len bites his knuckles for a moment, trying to knock back his thoughts of Barry and the small pang of guilt he felt at Barry’s disappointment in him. He rummages around in the cabinet above the sink, pulling out a bottle of rubbing alcohol. He quickly cleans the cut on his lip, the alcohol stinging insistently in his wound. He takes some painkillers that were in the first-aid kit. When he’s finished, he stores the rubbing alcohol back in the cabinet along with the first-aid kit. At least he looks somewhat less beat up. 

“Job not go well?” Mick asks as Len makes his way back to the couch slowly. 

“…no.” Len lays back down on the couch, wrapping his parka tight around him. 

“Want me to punch anyone? You know I like punching people.” 

Leonard considers asking Mick to punch someone from Team Flash on his behalf, but decides it probably wouldn’t do any good. “No. I’ll keep the offer in mind, though.” 

A noncommittal grunt is all he gets in return, and it’s all he really expects. 

*** 

When Len wakes up a couple hours later, it’s almost completely dark outside. He rolls off the couch and stretches, his back popping. Mick isn’t anywhere to be seen, meaning he must have left at some point after Len dozed off. The clock on the wall tells him it’s 7:52 p.m. 

He needs food. His stomach growls in agreement at the idea. There’s a small Chinese restaurant a few blocks from the hideout that he sometimes frequents, and he chooses to go eat there. Cold air hits his face as he steps outside and it threatens to seep into his bones. Len trudges on through the snow and ice. He wedges the door of the restaurant open far enough to slip in, the bell attached to it ringing above his head. 

A young girl with the ends of her hair dyed electric blue greets him. Her name is Ahn, and she’s the daughter of the owners. Len has chatted with her enough times to know that she’s extremely intelligent and has a bright future in whatever she ends up doing in life. If she ever wanted to turn to a life of crime, Len was open to taking her in with the Rogues. She also doesn’t enjoy being a waitress all too much. Hence her talking with Len whenever he came in to distract herself from the job and have an excuse to sit down. 

Ahn sits him at a table near the back of the restaurant and takes his order to the kitchen before coming back and sitting across from him. “You’re face looks terrible.” She says. 

“I like the blue in your hair.” He responds, avoiding the imminent question about who he got in a fight with. 

She takes the sign that he doesn’t want to talk about his face. She instead launches into a rant about how her parents almost killed her when they first saw her hair. Len listens, nodding along when she asks for agreement. He’s almost relaxed, the small but cozy restaurant and Ahn’s energetic chatter lulling him into a calm. He even starts to forget the pain blossoming on the left side of his face. 

Ahn leaves for a moment to grab Len’s food and to seat someone who had come in a few seconds earlier. Len glances over to the front of the restaurant to see the new customer. His chopsticks freeze in their journey to his mouth when he sees who it is. 

Barry Allen. 

Of course. 

He’s seated at a table directly across the room from Leonard, where he finally realizes someone is staring at him. Their eyes lock, and the tension is almost palpable. Barry rips his eyes away long enough to give Ahn a sweet smile and order a drink. When she’s gone to the kitchen, the Scarlet Speedster’s eyes land back on Len. 

Len sinks further into his seat, avoiding his stare. He came here to eat, and that’s what he’s going to do, with or without Barry’s presence making him uncomfortable. He sends out a silent thank you when Ahn sits back down at his table a few minutes later after she’s taken Barry’s food order. She starts talking again like there had never been an interruption. 

“You know,” Ahn says suddenly, when she’s done with her hair tirade, “that guy over there is pretty cute.” She tilts her head in Barry’s direction. 

Len steals a glance at Barry, who’s doing something on his phone. “He might be a little old for you. Like ten years older than you.” 

Amused laughter erupts from her. “Are you being protective of me?” Barry’s gaze is back on the two of them, and Len shifts uncomfortably. “And I wasn’t talking about him being cute for me.” She lowers her voice conspiratorially. “I saw you staring at him. And he’s been staring at you. I can introduce you two, if you want me to.” 

A scoff escapes from Len’s lips. “That won’t be necessary. And I was _not_ staring at-” 

The sound of someone clearing their throat causes him and Ahn to look up. Barry is standing by their table. 

“Do you- do you mind if I join you?” Barry asks timidly, rubbing the back of his neck. 

Ahn stands up quickly. “He doesn’t mind at all. Right, L-man? Right.” Then she rushes off to the kitchen. 

Barry hesitates before sitting down. “’L-man?’” He questions, the corner of his mouth quirking up briefly. 

“What do you want, Red?” Len askes instead of replying to the question. He can now feel the pain in his face intensify. There’s a discreet part of him that wishes he could heal fast like Barry. 

Barry’s face takes on an expression of guilt. “I wanted to apologize for…” He touches his face, referring to the large bruise on Len’s. “I wasn’t thinking straight when I confronted you, and I ended up overreacting.” 

Len holds Barry’s gaze for a minute as Ahn comes back and gives Barry his food. When she’s gone again, Len focuses his stare at the wall behind Barry instead. 

“People apologize all the time for things they end up doing over and over again.” Len forces himself to smirk. “What makes you any different?” 

Barry sets his jaw, looking intent. “You know I’m not that type of person. When I apologize, I mean it. If I ever act out like that again, you have every right to call me out on it.” He pauses. “But, also, ‘L-man?’” 

A disgruntled sigh is Len’s first response. “It’s just a nickname. If you use it, I’ll freeze you where you sit. And you better not tell anyone on your team that you saw me here. This is the best Chinese restaurant around, and I don’t want to abandon it.” 

The bright smile Barry produces makes Len’s heart start beating harder, and he internally curses himself. “Your secret is safe with me. To be honest, I’m a big fan of this place, too.” 

“You’ve been here before?” 

“Yeah, lots of times. I’m actually helping Ahn with her robotics class project.” 

Len immediately swivels around in his seat to throw a betrayed look in Ahn’s direction. She waves at him through the kitchen door’s window. Len shakes his head and turns back to Barry. “How long have you been coming here?” 

Barry shrugs. “A year? Maybe a little less.” 

“And somehow we never ran into each other.” Len crosses his arms, staring down at his plate. 

Barry leans in toward him. “Does Ahn know that you’re Captain Cold?” He asks quietly, eyebrows furrowing close together. 

“Probably. She never says anything about it, though, and I never talk about it. You don’t have to be concerned about me being a bad influence.” Len smirks again. 

“That’s not- I didn’t mean-” Barry stops and collects himself. “I was just curious.” 

Len hums, pulling out his wallet so that he can place forty dollars on the table. “This should be enough to pay for both of our meals.” He says to Barry before standing up and heading for the door. A small, miniscule part of him hopes Barry will follow him out to say… Say what? Something. Anything. 

But Leonard knows this won’t actually happen. And it doesn’t happen. All that chases after him is the freezing wind pushing against his back. 


	3. Cool Cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Len finds a cat in the streets and a certain someone comes falling into his home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note: Can I just say that the Emotion album from Carly Rae Jepsen works really well for Coldflash songs?

Len stumbles upon the kitten by accident. It’s about two weeks after his encounter with Barry at the Chinese restaurant (and he still hasn’t completely forgiven Ahn for setting him up). He’s trudging through the snow on the sidewalk that, thankfully, has finally started to melt, when he hears a tiny squeak in a nearby alleyway. Why that makes him stop, he’s not entirely sure.

There’s a dumpster in the alley, and Len gravitates toward it, not certain what he’s looking for. But then another squeak rises up close to his feet. Len squats down, pulling back a piece of cardboard in front of him, fully expecting a rat to come lunging at him. 

Instead, the small creature under the cardboard is a kitten. It can’t be more than four weeks old. It has entirely black fur and a light pink nose. Bright yellow eyes peer up at him widely. If the cat wasn’t almost fully frozen, Len is sure it would bolt right now. 

Len reaches out a hand to it slowly, letting the kitten smell him, before he picks it up and holds it close to his chest under his jacket. It puts up no fight, only sends out a pitiful meow and starts to shake slightly. He’s only a few blocks from the closest hideout, so he heads there. The warm air hits his face when he opens the door, and he’s glad that so many of the Rogues love the heat. 

The kitten hasn’t made any attempt to really move under Leonard’s jacket. He’s half-convinced that the thing is pretty much dead already. But he still brings it to the kitchen as he moves around quickly to pull out a bag of rice, empty the rice into a smaller bag, heat it up, and wrap it in a kitchen towel. He gently places the kitten down on the counter. Len then places the makeshift heating pad next to it. He absentmindedly begins to pet it, stroking its back softly. 

Len inspects the kitten. Its eyes are closed and it’s barely breathing. It’s not even shaking even more. The thing must have been out in the cold for at least a few hours. But how the kitten got there, Len has no idea. It’s possible that the mother cat left it there, or someone abandoned it. 

Len grabs the nearest chair from the kitchen table, pulling it up to the counter. He sits down and rests his chin on the counter. If the thing lives, he’ll bring it to the nearest pound so that someone can hopefully adopt it. 

While he stare at the kitten’s chest, watching the shallow breathing, he notices a dirtied white splash of fur there. It’s vaguely in the shape of a lightning bolt. 

*** 

Okay, so maybe Len got attached to the kitten. He told himself that he would take her- because it is a her, as Lisa helpfully supplied- to the pound if she didn’t die. And when she didn’t die, he was all set to do just that. Then she fixed him with the most pathetic look. So he told himself that he would nurse her back to health and clean her up and take her to the pound once she had her strength back. 

It’s been three weeks since Leonard first found the kitten, though. He’s trying to convince himself that he’s only keeping her for Lisa. But, really, Lisa can barely approach the kitten before she’s skittering over to Len and climbing up his pant leg. He also tries to convince himself that, since she’s such a literal scardey-cat, she wouldn’t last at the pound long enough to be adopted. 

So Len decides to keep her. He takes the kitten to the vet to get a check-up and any shots she may need. When he goes up to the receptionist, she asks what the cat’s name is. Len immediately pulls a blank. He hadn’t thought about a name yet. He’d just been calling her ‘cat.’ 

The receptionist must sense this because she hums a little and taps her fingers for a second while she stares at the kitten in Len’s hands. Then she snaps her fingers, making the kitten start to squirm. Len places her back in the box he brought her into the vet in. 

“How about,” the receptionist says, “we name her ‘Streak?’” She raises an eyebrow. “She’s got that lightning bolt on her chest like that one superhero guy.” 

“Isn’t he called The Flash, though?” Len wouldn’t seriously consider naming the kitten after Barry Allen. 

“Yeah, but when he was just gaining attention he was called The Streak. So, you know, he was The Streak when he was new, and your kitten is new to life. Doesn’t it work?” She looks up at him expectantly. 

Len wants to argue a different name, but he honestly can’t think of one. He just avoids rolling his eyes as he agrees to the name. If he had his own grave, he would be turning over in it right now. 

The receptionist grins and claps her hand together. “Great! I can make her a tag for a collar while you get her checked up.” 

*** 

“So… Streak,” Len says in a low voice, “looks like we’re stuck with each other.” 

He’s crouched by the couch, holding a feather just out of reach of Streak. She keeps trying to jump higher and higher off the ground to grab onto it. Len isn’t quite ready to take pity on her yet and let her have the feather. The kitchen now has food and water bowls in it, small enough for Streak to reach into to. Lisa even brought extra food and toys to the hideout for the kitten. 

“I can’t believe I have a fucking cat named Streak.” He says as the kitten lunges up once more. Len finally lets the feather go, watching it float calmly down for a moment before Streak has it in her mouth. He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. Leonard doesn’t know how he ended up with a soft spot for this tiny creature. 

As Len stands up, getting ready to throw himself into bed, a loud banging noise resounds through the hideout. It’s coming from the back door in the kitchen. Len thinks it must be one of the Rogues, and they forgot to bring a key with them. But it could also be a cop, having put together enough wits to find the place. 

Len approaches the door cautiously but doesn’t open it yet. He waits a second, then there’s more banging and someone calling his name. He recognizes the voice, but doesn’t fully process who it belongs to until he has his hand on the doorknob. That was Barry’s voice. The Flash was at one of his hideouts. 

Len almost leaves Barry outside, turning away to go to but, but then Barry’s voice takes on a much more desperate tone. He’s pleading for someone to open the door. And goddammit if Len can walk away after hearing the fear in Barry’s voice. 

When the doors is open far enough, the Scarlet Speedster falls- literally falls- into the room, in full costume. And there’s blood all over him. A lot of blood. 

“Close the door, please close the door.” Barry begs. 

Len immediately slams the door shut and locks it. He’s on the floor by Barry in the next moment. Most of the blood is coming from his leg, and Len can see bone protruding from his left thigh. It looks extremely painful. 

Barry pulls his cowl off, head falling back onto the floor. He’s sweat covered, hair flattened down. He squeezes his eyes shut tight. “Can you put the bone back in place?” 

“I’m not a doctor, Red.” Len’s hands come to hover over Barry’s thigh anyway. 

“It’s fine. All you’ve got to do is push it back in.” His voice is strained as he grabs Len’s hands and put them on his thigh. He gives Len a reassuring nod. 

Len hesitates for a second before he leans his weight on the bone and it pops back into place with a sickening crack. Barry’s face drains of all color as he lets out a shout. Then he’s unconscious on the kitchen floor. In Len’s hideout. And Len has no idea how he got here or what happened to him. 

Len leans back from Barry. His hands are covered in blood. He manages to make himself stand up and pick Barry up from the floor. He drags Barry to the couch and lays him down on it. Does he do anything first-aid wise? Or wait for Barry to heal on his own? 

Len swears under his breath before going to find some of his clothes. He comes back with an old t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts that he has almost never worn. He hesitates a moment before stripping Barry of his Flash costume. Fortunately, he wears underwear with his suit. Len rushes to put the other clothes on Barry, not allowing his eyes to linger anywhere on him for too long. 

Then, he goes about wiping the blood off of Barry. There’s so much, all over his face and hands and leg. It can’t all be his. Len winces and continues to bandage up Barry’s leg. When everything is said and done, he washes his own hands of the blood. 

The whole time, Streak has been observing from across the room. Len grabs her and heads to the kitchen to sit down and collect himself. He doesn’t know how he ended up with a soft spot for both a kitten and Barry Allen. It can only go downhill from here. 


	4. Coffee Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning coffee conversations.

Len can’t sleep. It’s been four hours since he tossed himself into bed, but no matter how much he tries to lay still and keep his eyes closed for more than two minutes, he can’t. He keeps tossing and turning, not able to find a comfortable position. The dark ceiling is just so much more interesting to stare at than the back of his eyelids. He keeps thinking about Barry, who’s currently passed out in the other room. Barry, who came to him when hurt. Came to him when in danger.

A groan escapes Len’s lips as he checks the time on his phone. It’s six in the morning. He cautiously removes Streak from her position on his chest. He’s learned from experience that she likes to latch on with her claws to whatever she’s being moved from. And then she doesn’t let go unless Len pries her claws out from what she’s stuck on. When Streak is safely and soundly on the bed, he gets up and heads toward the kitchen. 

He stops on the way there to check on Barry, who’s still unconscious on the couch. Without thinking, Len leans down and brushes stray pieces of hair away from Barry’s face. He realizes what he’s doing and pulls his hand back quickly as if burned. There’s a voice in his head chanting ‘no no no’ over and over again, slowly growing louder and louder. Leonard knows he can’t let himself grow closer to Barry. He rushes to the kitchen, turning on the coffee machine after filling it with water and coffee grounds. 

Len almost collapses over the counter, head in his hands. He won’t let himself get wrapped up in having feelings for someone, especially when that someone is The Flash. It’s not practical. It won’t turn out well. It’ll only eat at him, at the guard he’s been building up for so long. Lisa is the closest person to him. Mick is the second. Len doesn’t know how he could let in a third person emotionally. 

Which, when he looks close at it, that’s what it really is that’s throwing him off. Emotions. Len doesn’t get attached. But he’s attached to Barry, no matter how much he wants to deny it. He hated seeing him hurt, couldn’t stand the pain on his face earlier. He shouldn’t admit it to himself because it will only make the thought real. 

The coffee pot has started to fill with coffee. Len pushes himself up and away from the counter. He hopes none of the Rogues swings by before Barry is awake and gone. Because the second the Scarlet Speedster is awake, Len is throwing him out onto the street. 

There’s some cans of cat food in the back of the pantry that Len bought when he first found Streak. He grabs one to open, not surprised to see the kitten herself already at his feet when he turns around. He sighs heavily, working his way to pick up the food bowl and bring it to the counter as Streak swats at his legs. Before he can even lift the lid to the cat food, she’s on the counter, meowing into Len’s face and head-butting his chin. 

“Alright, chill out. I’m opening your damn food.” Why did he keep this kitten, again? Right, because he’s becoming a soft person. Not that he ever meant to. 

“Snart?” A small voice says from behind him. 

Len turns around, facing Barry, who looks drained and tired. He gets frozen up for a moment, seeing Barry in his old clothes. It makes his heart go wild, and, goddammit, he’s never going to get this image out of his head. Barry looks too good in his t-shirt, hanging just a bit too big on his skinny frame. His leg has already healed, seeing as how he isn’t wearing the bandage anymore. Len finally opens his mouth to say something, but instead winces as Streak claws her way up his (thankfully, shirt covered) back. She stops to rest on his left shoulder, yowling into his ear. He still has her can of food, unopened, in his hands. 

“Calm your titties, kitty.” Len responds back to her. He pries the can open and puts the food in the bowl on the counter. He means to put it and Streak on the floor, but, all of a sudden, Barry is crowding into his personal space, warm and smelling slightly of blood. 

“Oh my god.” Barry says softly, voice full of wonder. “You have a cat?” He leans forward into Len so that he can pet Streak. 

Len is screaming internally now. He can feel Barry’s body against his, and when Barry looks at him with bright, inquisitive hazel eyes, Len feels like he’s on fire. He can’t find a way to speak with Barry so close to him, so close to his face. So, he just nods in response to the question. 

The corner of Barry’s mouth quirks up. He leans around Len again to read Streak’s collar. “You… named it ‘Streak?’” 

Len slides over to the left, away from Barry, so that he can breathe. “It was the receptionist at the vet’s office who came up with the name. Not me. I wasn’t even going to keep her at first.” 

Barry grins and takes the kitten into his arms so that he can pet her. She only mildly protests being taken away from her now empty food bowl. “Well, hello there, Streak.” He says. “I guess we should be friends if you’ve taken over my old alter ego. I could always use help with fighting crime.” Streak meows and nuzzles Barry’s cheek. He chuckles and scratches her behind the ear. 

“Can you stay for some coffee?” Len blurts out without thinking. Fuck. 

“Uh, sure.” Barry responds as he puts Streak back down on the counter. “If it’s no bother. I mean, you’ve already done so much.” 

Len hesitates a quick second. “It’s fine.” He really meant to send Barry on his way when he woke up. But he can’t really do that now. So, even though it may bite him in the ass later, he lets Barry stay longer. He pours them both a cup of coffee and they sit down at the table together. Streak climbs into Barry’s lap so that she can curl up in it. 

Len is silent for a moment, stealing short glances at Barry. He’s staring into his cup, and the collar of Len’s old shirt is falling over enough to expose his collar bones. Who knew someone’s collar bones could be so attractive? Len shakes his head slightly. 

“What happened last night?” Len finally asks. “How did you know I was here?” 

Barry cradles his coffee cup closer to him. “I got into a fight with another meta human, one who was causing all sorts of damage. She was a lot stronger than me. Obviously. When she broke my leg, I couldn’t really use my super speed too much. Caitlin and Cisco couldn’t do anything to help. I… I remembered that you had this hideout, and it was close to where I was, so I ran here with what little speed I could muster. Which was not the best idea, since it just made my leg worse, as you saw. I had no idea if anyone would be here. Or if anyone was, it might not have been you here. But I wasn’t really thinking straight. I just wanted to get away before I got killed.” 

Len takes a long drink of coffee. It’s hard for him to wrap his head around the fact that Barry trusts him enough to run to him when in danger. It makes him a little nervous. 

“You still could have gotten yourself killed if it wasn’t me who was here.” Len says, settling on pushing aside those thoughts. 

“I know. I-” Barry stops and sighs. He fixes an intense stare on Len that makes his insides churn. “Thank you, Leonard. You probably saved my life. I owe you for that.” 

Okay, Len, breathe. No big deal. Just act cool. 

“Don’t worry about it, Red.” Len stands up and leans against the kitchen counter. He feels a bit shaky, and he knows he can’t really blame it on the coffee. “I really had no choice, considering that you fell in through the back door.” 

“I’m sorry about that.” Barry manages to get Streak to jump off his lap, then stands up as well. He moves to the counter, invading Len’s personal space bubble again. Is the kid doing it on purpose or does he just have no sense of personal space? “At least let me make it up to you.” 

The coffee cup almost slips from Len’s hands. He considers asking Barry to stay for breakfast, just stay a little while longer, but- “You should leave.” 

Barry looks like a kicked puppy for a second before his expression back to near-neutral. “Right. I understand.” He moves around Len to place his cup in the sink. He goes to pick up his Flash costume before coming back to the kitchen. “Uh, do you want your clothes back?” 

“Keep them.” Len opens the back door, avoiding eye contact with Barry. If he looks him in the eye, he’s going to say something stupid. He also can’t risk one of the Rogues seeing Barry here. 

Barry pulls on his boots, and slides out the door. He hesitates briefly, as if he wants to say something. Then, he’s gone in a flash. 

Leonard knows he’s made a mistake in letting him leave. And he knows he shouldn’t feel this much pain about it, but he just can’t seem to force Barry out of his mind. Can’t seem to force Barry out of his heart. 


	5. Coming Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thunderstorms and pillow forts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for alcohol mentions. Also slightly spoiler-ish for legends of tomorrow? But no details really

Len is little tipsy tonight. Alright, more than a little tipsy. He left Saints and Sinners about half an hour ago, needing fresh air. He decided to just wander around and now he’s in a nicer, less criminally crowded area of the city. It’s been a couple weeks since the Legends returned to their original time after Rip chose to give them a well-needed break. It was getting too tense on the Waverider. No matter how much you get along with other people, being in close quarters with them almost constantly can drive you to irritation.

Len’s met up with some of the team while on break, though. Mostly Sara, Kendra, and Jax. They’re pretty much a family now- that, Len won’t deny to himself. The only thing is that now he and Mick aren’t really on speaking terms at the moment, after all the fighting they’ve gotten into. It was unavoidable that he and Mick would end up at odds with each other over certain things. 

Len’s thinking of calling Kendra to bother her and to avoid running into Mick at one of the hideouts when he spots someone else he knows across the street, walking in the same direction he is. He hasn’t seen Barry Allen in weeks. Seeing him now makes his heart ache. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought of Barry way too often. Len’s feet carry him without tripping across the street and he trails behind Barry until they’re inside an apartment complex. 

Barry goes up to an elevator to press the call button. The doors open almost immediately. He gets in, then turns to Len to begin asking what floor he’s going to. But Barry instead makes a choked noise when he recognizes Len. 

“Snart? What are you-” 

“Don’t worry about it, Red.” Len interrupts. He leans against the elevator wall because the world is spinning just a little bit now. 

“Are you drunk?” Barry asks as he holds down the button to keep the doors open. After a second, he presses the button for the fourth floor. 

Len’s legs give out as the doors close and the elevator starts to move. He slides down the wall slowly until he’s sitting on the floor, maintaining eye contact with Barry the whole time. “No.” He says with more conviction than he feels. 

The eyebrows on Barry’s face shoot up, then furrow together. He shakes his head in what is probably disbelief. When the elevator stops and the doors open, Barry grabs Len’s hands and pulls him up onto his feet. 

In Len’s slightly drunken state, he can’t help but stumble forward close into Barry. “You’re distracting me, Barry. All the time.” He whispers, low and rough. 

Barry makes a small noise from the back of his throat, then opens his mouth (that mouth that gives such beautiful smiles) to say something. But then the elevator doors start to close and slam into Barry’s arms. He lets out an ‘oomph’ and drags Len out of the elevator by his jacket collar. 

“You’ve had too much to drink, Snart.” Barry looks around for a little before focusing back on Len, expression resigned. “Come with me. My apartment’s right here. You probably won’t make it too much further in your state.” 

“Oh, you’re letting me see where you live?” Len jokes as he rests against the wall. 

“You better not use the information against me, Cold.” Barry says as he unlocks a door not too far from the elevator. 

“Yeah, yeah, I promise.” 

Barry turns to him, giving him a pointed look. “You better keep that promise.” He opens the door. “Come in, though.” He tilts his head to motion into the apartment. 

Len squeezes past Barry and into the apartment. It’s small but cozy, and smells like laundry detergent. It feels like Barry, with its muted colors, large collection of photos with family and friends, and random pieces of clothing strewn over furniture and across the floor. Len even spots his own shirt that he let Barry keep, draped across the back of the couch. Also halfway held up by the couch is a pillow fort. Len turns to Barry for an explanation. 

“Uhh. I like pillow forts? I used to build them with my mom when I was scared of something as a kid.” Barry says with a shrug, then sigh. “I heard there was going to be a thunderstorm tonight, so I built it this morning to hide out in.”

“You’re afraid of thunderstorms?” Len asks with a raised eyebrow.

Barry chuckles uneasily. “Well, you know, being struck lightning doesn’t really make you a big fan of it. I know it sounds childish.” 

“We’re all afraid of something, Barry.” Len says softly. He wanders over to the tiny kitchen, avoiding Barry’s gaze. 

He rummages through Barry’s pantry until he spots an unopened bag of mini marshmallows. He pulls it out and opens it. When he turns back around, Barry is still standing next to the pillow fort, looking a bit forlorn. Len can hear rain beginning to patter on the kitchen window and he’s feeling a bit more sober. He pops a few marshmallows into his mouth, then approaches the fort so he can hold up the end of one of the sheets. 

“Are we taking shelter or not?” Len asks, gesturing with the marshmallow bag into the pillow fort. He sways slightly on his feet. 

Barry gives Len a searching look before nodding. He ducks under the sheet and sits among the many pillows. He turns on a flashlight that had been on the floor as Len follows, tripping slightly on the pillows scattered on the floor. He’s blinded for a moment when Barry shines the light in his face like an interrogation room lamp. 

“And just what are _you_ afraid of, _Leonard_?” Barry asks in an awful attempt at a bad cop voice. 

“You should be glad you didn’t become a cop. You’d never intimidate someone like that.” Len responds while he holds up a hand to shield his face from the light. “And it’s Len, not Leonard.” 

Barry moves the flashlight away, letting it shine at one of the chairs holding up a sheet. “Len, then. You didn’t answer my question.” He scoots forward until one of his knees is touching one of Len’s. 

Len draw in a deep breath. “Letting people in and then having them leave me.” He’s still just drunk enough to admit it. 

Silence falls between them. Len’s throat closes up somewhat, so he clears it and stuffs his mouth with a handful of mini marshmallows. He swears he’s going to shoot himself with his cold gun if he can’t keep his feelings under control. 

Barry finally starts to say something, but when the deafening sound of thunder fills the room, he jumps and his mouth snaps shut. 

Len blinks a couple time, watching Barry's face take on an edge of panic. Len starts talking to distract Barry as the rain starts to come down harder. He tells Barry about the Legends, about Rip, about Savage, anything he can think of. And he’s never talked this much before but at least the terrified expression on Barry’s face is almost gone by the time he’s run out of things to say. 

“So, are you saying you’re becoming a hero?” Barry asks teasingly, his voice quiet against the noise of the rain and thunder, his hands shaking slightly. 

“Did you miss the parts where I still stole stuff? Because I still have criminal tendencies no matter the time period.” Len is trying to defend himself but the shit-eating grin on Barry’s face effectively renders him speechless. 

“You and Mick must be living the dream, then.” Barry raises a challenging eyebrow in Len’s direction. 

“Yeah, I guess.” Len shakes his head, feeling a bit hollow. He decides to take a chance. “I’m afraid of losing Mick." He admits. "That’s what I’m most afraid of right now, if you want to know. We’ve been growing apart for too long.” 

Barry reaches over and grips Len’s hands in his own, warm and safe like always. He jumps a little when the sound of thunder makes it way into the room again, but his face stays fairly steady. “That’s a perfectly reasonable thing to fear. It’s hard to lose people you love.” 

When Len tears his eyes away from his hands in Barry’s, their gazes meeting, he suddenly feels completely sober. 

“Can I tell you a secret?” Barry asks. “You’ve told me one of yours, I might as well tell you one of mine.” 

“You’ve already told me about your fear of thunder. You don’t have to-” 

Barry interrupts him. “Just let me tell my secret. It’s not even that big, just something I haven’t told anyone about having my powers.” 

“Okay, what not big secret do you want to reveal?” Len leans against the back of the couch, finally settling into the pile of pillows. 

“I miss my scars.” Barry says, leaning against the couch as well. He hasn’t let go of Len’s hands. “When I got my powers, they healed over. I used to have one under my chin, right here.” He points to a spot on his chin. “I got it when I was running home one day after school. I tripped and fell off the curb and landed face first on the asphalt. Busted my chin open. My mom almost had a heart attack when she saw all the blood, and I had to go to the hospital to get stitches. I just miss having the scars because it’s almost like they held memories, but now they’re gone.” 

Len hesitantly reaches up to gently take hold of Barry’s chin so that he can tilt his head up a little. He pretends to inspect the spot Barry pointed to, vaguely aware of the fact that he can feel Barry’s racing pulse under his fingers. 

“You know, I think I can see a scar there.” Len says seriously. 

“Wait, really?” Barry asks. When Len smirks, Barry shoves at his chest. “Not funny.” He says, the corner of his mouth quirking up, and shadows playing across his face. He’s way too far into Len’s personal space once again. 

And the one and only thing Leonard Snart truly knows at this moment is that he wants to kiss Barry Allen. 

So he does. 

It’s not a perfect kiss. It’s not even a good kiss. Their teeth clack against each other loudly and they can’t find a way to make their lips work together. But at least Barry is attempting to kiss back, even if it’s not going well. Barry pulls back after a couple seconds, laughing hard enough to start snorting. 

“That was terrible, Len.” Barry says in between laughs. “For some reason, I thought you’d be a great kisser.” 

Len sighs a pinches the bridge of his nose, but can’t help smiling. “Can I at least get a retry? I promise I can do better.” He pauses. "Are you saying you've thought about kissing me?" 

"Maybe?" Barry stalls his laughter down to giggles, nodding. “And if I’m kissing my supposed nemesis, I should at least have a good time doing it. So, please, let's try again.” 

Len cups one of Barry’s cheeks to bring him back in for another (hopefully better) kiss when he hears the front door to the apartment open and footsteps carry into the living room outside the fort. 

“Barry, are you home?” It’s Joe West’s voice. 

“Oh, shit.” Barry whispers, pulling back from Len with wide eyes. 

‘Oh, shit’ is right. 


	6. Constant Interruptions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of interruptions and not enough time for love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I (very recently) got a tumblr at http://kitty-514.tumblr.com/ . Follow if you'd like, I'll follow back. Also, I may be moving this fic's updates to Wednesday as I've started another coldflash fic called Central City Limits that I want to update on Saturdays, which you could check out if you want (excuse my kind of shameless self-advertisement) .
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Barry scrambles up and out of the pillow fort, leaving Len inside by himself.

“Joe, hey. What- what are you doing here?” Barry asks. 

Len almost cringes at Barry’s awkwardness. He can almost picture the look on Barry’s face, the smile that’s more of a grimace. Len starts running through how to get out of the apartment without Detective West seeing him and killing him on the spot. 

“I brought pizza.” West says. “We haven’t eaten dinner together since you moved out a couple weeks ago. You’re making me think you’re trying to avoid me.” 

“What? No. Never.” Barry replies. 

“Good.” West pauses. “Do you have someone over? I can see a shadow in the pillow fort.” 

Len freezes in place. Maybe if he doesn’t breathe or blink, everything will turn out okay. 

“Uhh, no. It’s just me. By myself. Alone.” 

Smooth, Barry. Real smooth. West is quiet for a long moment before moving to the fort. Fuck. _Fuck_. He’s lifting up one of the sheets now. Len starts to scoot back, hoping that it wouldn’t end too badly if he were to jump out the window. He doesn’t doubt that he’d get arrested just for being in Barry’s apartment. Not to mention how pissed West would be at Barry. 

Just when Len’s preparing to bolt for the window, he’s being picked up and whisked outside by Barry quickly. Len blinks a few times as he adjusts to the new surroundings. The rain hits him in the face sharply and he tries to regain his composure. 

Barry is standing in front of him, wincing at the rain. “I’m so sorry, Len. I’ll handle Joe. He won’t know you were here.” He turns to go back inside, but Len grabs at the sleeve of his cardigan. 

Len pulls Barry in close to him. Their faces are inches apart and he can see droplets of water sticking to Barry’s eyelashes. He wants this kiss to go well. A romantic kiss in the rain and all that love story bullshit. Barry gazes into his eyes, reaching up to cup the sides of his face. Len can feel Barry’s breath ghosting warmly over his face. 

And then Barry’s phone rings. Len barely manages to not groan like a disgruntled teenager. Barry mutters an apology, fumbling to move back under a ledge to answer his phone. 

“Hello?” Barry says. “No, Joe. I’ll be back up soon. Yes. No, I’m not hiding anything.” Then he hangs up and sighs. “I’ve got to get back up there before Joe comes down here.” 

“I understand.” Len knows he’s going spend another restless night staring at the wall. His mind is already racing with thoughts of Barry Allen, even though he’s still within sight. 

*** 

Barry screams in agony, hitting the floor like a ragdoll. Len immediately feels an intense panic overtake him, clawing at his stomach. Everything has gone wrong. 

What Len had meant to be an excuse to see Barry veiled as a museum heist turned sour. It was going just fine at first. He was aiming to snatch a priceless necklace on display with a traveling exhibit. Barry showed up shortly after Len arrived, of course. No big deal. Major flirtation bounced between them like a game of tennis after Barry switches off his comms. Len even managed to make Barry blush. His point. 

Len was getting ready to give up and retreat. He honestly just wanted to find out when Barry got done being hero for the day and ask him out for Chinese food. In the week since their horrible kiss in the pillow fort, neither of them had managed to break away from prior obligations to find a moment alone. 

But just as their fake fight was winding down, another metahuman turned up, spewing shit about wanting the priceless necklace for himself. He’s dressed in an ugly yellow suit, pitching metal spheres at the two of them. Barry and Len dodge the first few, the balls rolling harmlessly away once they hit the tile floor. Barry trips over one, trying to right himself. 

Len aims his gun at the guy. “Want me to freeze him, Scarlet?” 

And that’s when it happens. One of the spheres on the floors explodes, knocking Barry up and back as he screams. Len’s hand shakes subtly, then he pulls the gun’s trigger, misses the man, rushes to Barry’s side. Barry grips Len’s wrist hard. 

“Get us out of here.” Barry hisses through clenched teeth. His right side up to his neck is burned, but thankfully not too badly. His suit must have taken the brunt of the explosion. 

“You got it, Red.” Len responds, faking calm. He glances up at the metahuman, who is winding up for another pitch. 

Close to the two of them, another metal sphere goes off. Len fires at the man again, this time hitting his throwing arm and freezing it. The pitcher shouts an obscenity and falls to his knees, clutching at his arm. Len grabs Barry and hauls him to his feet. He drapes Barry’s arm over his shoulders. He drags Barry out of the museum as the balls around them explode in quick succession. The heat hits Len hard in the face while he rushes outside and he feels a sharp pain in his chest. Then his own legs give out beneath him in the parking lot. He hits the ground, Barry following after him. He can feel a loss of blood. 

“Len!” Barry rolls him onto his back. Concern crosses his face full force. “You’re- you’ve been-” He puts his hands on the left side of Len’s chest, putting pressure on the open wound there. 

“I got hit by debris in the explosions.” Len grits out. “Must have gone clean through.” 

“Shut up. I mean, don’t speak.” Barry grimaces and clutches at his own side briefly. “Just hold on. I’ll keep you safe.” 

Len’s heart might skip a beat at that. It might also be because he’s bleeding out in a dark parking lot. But all the same, Barry picks Len up and runs. 

***

Len slowly surfaces from the black sea of unconsciousness. When he manages to open his eyes, he squints against the bright lights shining right into his face. A shadow shaped like a head passing above him. 

“Barry, your favorite criminal is awake.” Caitlin’s face comes into focus above him. “Welcome to S.T.A.R. Labs.” She says in a strained polite tone. He doesn’t blame her for being upset at him being here. Or for having to patch him up. 

Len tries to sit up but Caitlin pushes him back down. She gives him a pointed look, so he doesn’t attempt to get up yet. He hears footsteps approaching so he glances to the side. Barry and Cisco walk into the med room together. 

“Hey, Captain Cold.” Cisco says. “So not nice to see you again.” Okay, so there’s two people not too happy to see him. 

“Guys, please.” Barry says with a sigh. “Do you mind if I talk to Le- Snart alone?” 

Both Cisco and Caitlin exchange glances before leaving the room. Barry moves to sit on the edge of the bed Len’s laying on. He quietly intertwines his fingers with Len’s, staring down at their hands. There’s almost no sign of burns on the exposed part of his neck. 

“How are you feeling?” Barry asks. 

“I’m not really feeling anything.” Len responds. “Painkillers, I’m guessing.” 

The corner of Barry’s mouth lifts. “Caitlin doesn’t skimp on the pain meds.” Then his smile drops and his eyes lock with Len’s. “Thank you for saving my life. Again. Don’t let anyone say you’ve never taken a bullet to the chest for me.” 

Len smirks. “Are you sure you’re not putting yourself in danger on purpose?” 

Barry feign offense. “Never. I wasn’t meant to be a damsel in distress.” 

The smirk on Len’s face shifts into a warm smile. “Do I at least get a hero’s kiss?” 

“Oh, so you’re admitting to being a hero?” Barry leans down close to Len, grinning. 

“Never.” Len whispers, their lips brushing. 

“Barry, are you alright?” It’s Joe again, calling from down the hall. 

Barry stands up quickly, smoothing out his sweater. Len actually groans this time. 

“I’m fine.” Barry responds as Joe enters the room. 

“Good. I’m glad.” Joe pulls Barry into a hug. Then he spots Len over Barry’s shoulder and steps back from Barry. “What’s Snart doing here?” Three people not glad to have Len here. 

Len pushes himself up into a sitting position. “Don’t worry, Detective West, I’m leaving.” He stands up, feeling a bit weightless with the painkillers still working their way through his system. 

Barry runs a hand through his hair, then lets his hand drop to his side. “Your clothes are on the desk in the second room on the left.” He says, sounding as pent up with frustration as Len at the continuous interruptions. 

Len nods. He goes to the door, aware of Joe glaring at him the whole way. He picks up the clothes on the desk, a little sad to have to change out of the surprisingly comfortable sweats and S.T.A.R. Labs sweater. But then the door to the room clicks closed and Barry is pushing Len towards the desk. Len stumbles back against the desk, letting Barry take control as their lips finally meet. 

Their kiss is filthy, tongues meeting and teeth biting. Barry grabs Len’s hips hard and rolls his own against Len’s. Len moans involuntarily. His head is in a complete haze. He won’t ever be able to think straight again. He grips Barry’s neck with one hand, his other hand pulling at Barry’s hair. Barry whimpers loudly, then pulls back, panting hard. 

“West is in the next room, Barry.” Len says, trying to catch his own breath. 

“Yeah, well, it’s- you know- we’ve- shit.” Barry rests his forehead against Len’s. “Sorry. It's been a long time since we first kissed. Words are hard right now.” 

Len clears his throat. “Words aren’t the only thing that’s hard right now.” He shifts uncomfortably. 

Barry glances down between them. “That is a _largely_ correct statement.” He takes a deep breathe, stepping away from Len, far enough away to see the bulge in his own pants. 

“I should go.” Len says. “Before anyone comes looking for either of us.” 

“Yeah. Yeah.” Barry agrees. “You should.” 

They stare at each other in silence for a long minute. Then they both move in and Len places a gentle kiss on Barry’s lips. 

“Call me.” Barry says, running a thumb over Len’s bottom lip briefly. His face is soft and Len wishes he had more time to memorize each and every freckle on it. 

“I will.” Len responds before turning and leaving. He knows he’s digging his own grave, but he’s more than willing to lie down in it if it means he gets to be near Barry Allen. 


	7. Creating a Connection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating sooner, but this chapter is a lot longer than the others so hopefully that makes up for it. This chapter is also going to up the rating for the fic because NSFW stuff ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Len rubs at his arm absentmindedly, staring at Barry’s door. It’s half past ten in the evening. For the first time in a long time, he’s nervous. Len knows he’s probably going to make a fool of himself, seeing as he’s never really asked someone out on a date. He and Barry have been more than friends for a few weeks, but they haven’t actually been out together. As a couple. Or whatever they are. 

Does Barry even want a romantic relationship? That’s the question that Len has been throwing around since he got back not too long ago from time traveling. That in itself has taken its toll on him, and he was surprised to find himself wanting to see Barry so much after he checked up on Lisa. Len may have tried to get advice out of Streak, but, to be honest, she wasn’t much help. It also wasn't helping that Lisa had caught onto the fact that he was pining over someone. She'd been teasing him incessantly ever since she figured it out. 

Len knocks on Barry’s door, knowing he must have come home not too long ago. He’ll ask Barry his question, get an answer, and then be on his way. He can only hope the answer he gets is the one he wants. The door opens a couple seconds later, Barry standing there in sweats and Len’s old t-shirt. It takes a large amount of self-control for Len to maintain eye contact with Barry instead of turning tail and leaving. 

“Len, hey.” Barry says, a small smile playing at his lips. “What are you doing here?” 

Len forces himself to soldier on. “I wanted to talk to you about something. It shouldn’t take long if you’re busy.” He leans casually against the nearest wall. 

“Can we talk over food?” Barry asks. “I’m starving. We could go get Chinese, and I can catch up with Ahn. She completed her robot not too long ago.” 

Len is caught off guard for a moment, but he manages to nod anyway. "Yeah, sure." 

Barry grins. “Great. Let me grab my shoes and jacket, and we can walk over there.” He zooms off, then comes back with shoes and jacket on and keys in hand. He quickly closes the door and locks it. Barry pauses suddenly and turns to Len with a crestfallen look. “Does your talk involve breaking up with me? Because we probably shouldn’t be getting dinner together if it does.” 

“No.” Len responds quickly, brow furrowed. He feels his own bit of relief as soon as Barry quits looking quite so dispirited. “I wanted to talk about the opposite. As in whether you consider us dating. Because you just said ‘breaking up’ as if we are.” 

Barry’s mouth forms out a silent ‘oh.’ 

“But we can discuss that over food.” Len supplies. 

Barry smiles sweetly. “Right. Good idea.” He bumps shoulders with Len playfully, heading for the elevator. 

They walk to the restaurant in relative but comfortable silence. Barry leans heavily into Len’s side the whole way, and Len cherishes the warmth radiating off him. The cold weather, though he appreciates it most of the time, has started to wear thin on him. He glances at Barry, his face briefly illuminated by a passing car’s headlights, and Len stops wondering how he let himself fall so hard, so fast. It’s all obvious in that moment, when all he can see is Barry walking next to him. Barry is everything Len has ever been afraid to admit he’s wanted for so long. 

Barry catches him staring. “What?” He asks innocently. 

“Nothing.” Len responds quietly, stepping in front of Barry to open the restaurant door for him. 

Barry raises an eyebrow, but goes into the restaurant anyway. Len follows after, breathing in the smells. He’s missed the food here a lot more than expected. There’s a few more people in the restaurant than usual, but it’s still fairly quiet. Ahn rushes out of the kitchen, a fake smile plastered on her face. When she recognizes the two of them, the smile becomes real. 

“So, uh,” Ahn begins, looking between Barry and Len, “are you two here together or _together_?” 

Len and Barry glance at each other before both mumbling a response that’s not quite discernible. 

Ahn smirks, leading them to a small table in the back. “Am I a great matchmaker or what?” She says as she hands them menus. “Along with my fighting robot, I may just rule the world one day.” She grins widely. 

“Please tell me your robot destroyed the other robots.” Barry says. “It was too cool not to.” 

“First place.” She says, grinning proudly. “Thanks for the help.” 

“You did all the hard work.” Barry responds with his own grin as he gives Ahn a high-five. 

“I’ll mention you in my ‘thank you’ speech. Now tell me what you want to drink so I can deal with the grumpy old couple that’s been hounding me for food.” Ahn runs off to the kitchen soon after, yelling something to one of the other waiters. 

Barry turns back to Len, smiling brilliantly. Len's heart does a little flip and he finds himself reluctantly smiling, too. 

“So, you wanted to talk about us?” Barry says, becoming a little more serious all of a sudden. “About what we are?” 

Len inclines his chin a bit. “Yeah. I was actually going to ask you on a date, but I guess you kind of beat me to it tonight. It’s just that, I’m not exactly the type of person a hero like you would date. I’m a criminal, Barry. I’ve got a record. I’ve been to prison. And here you are- a good and caring person. Do you really want to get involved with someone like me?” 

Barry starts shaking his head, which Len almost thinks is a response at first. He feels his stomach drop a bit. 

“Leonard.” Barry says, face set in determination. “I know who you’ve been and who you are. And I can tell you that you’re not the same person as when we first met. I know that you wouldn’t give up being a criminal for me, but I also know that you’re a good person. Someone who will do the right thing in the end. You already are doing good by being with the Legends and sticking with them, even after you lost Mick.” 

Len swallows hard at the mention of Mick, avoiding Barry’s gaze for a second. 

Barry continues on, filling the silence. “If I say I want to be with you, I mean it. And I want to be with you. I’ll deal with the consequences that choice brings.” 

Len holds his breath for a moment, trying to collect himself. “Alright. I trust you.” He takes a deep breath, meeting Barry’s eyes. “Barry Allen, will you go out with me?” 

Barry bites his bottom lip, trying a failing to hold back a smile. “You are ridiculous, Leonard Snart. Yes, I will go out with you.” 

Hazel eyes hold icy blue ones for what feels like forever. Len is almost afraid to acknowledge that he feels happiness. But he does. And it’s an odd sensation, one he hasn’t felt in years. Len smiles softly at Barry, hoping he can convey just a bit of what he’s feeling. Barry reaches across the table and takes Len’s hands in his own. Len’s skin crawls at the contact. 

Both of them jump a bit when Ahn sets their drinks down on the table heavily. She glances between them silently, and Len unconsciously pulls his hands away from Barry’s. 

“I’m fucking great at matchmaking.” Ahn says, a little too loudly. People from surrounding tables glance over at them. Ahn places her hands on her hips and cocks an eyebrow, ignoring the looks. “Should I make your order to-go?” The implication behind the question is not too subtle. 

*** 

It takes Barry a good two minutes to unlock the door, seeing as how he has Len pinned against it, making out with him. Len stumbles back through the door when Barry manages to get it open, pulling Barry along with him. They’re up against the wall in the next moment, Barry slamming the door shut with his foot. Then he pulls back abruptly, lips reddened and eyes dilated. They’re both panting. It’s almost more than Len can handle. 

. “Okay, but I’m actually really hungry.” Barry says, grabbing the bag of food in Len’s hand. His stomach growls in emphasis. 

Len huffs out a small laugh. “Fine. Go ahead and eat. I don’t get how someone as scrawny as you eats so much.” 

Barry gives an exaggerated shrug before heading to the table. “I’m told it’s a high metabolism, but I like to think that food and I are just lovers that can’t stay away from one another.” He jokes as he grabs a takeout box and a pair of chopsticks. 

They sit across from each other at the table, and Barry props his feet up in Len’s lap. Len absentmindedly plays with a loose thread on Barry’s sweats while he eats. Len can see his old t-shirt peeking out from Barry’s zipped up jacket, and it’s distracting. This kind of domestic scene should make Len want to get up and bolt, but he’s never wanted to stay in a moment like this so much. He doesn’t know how Barry managed to get under his skin so fully. He's integrated himself into Len's life, and Len never even prepared himself. 

“You alright?” Barry asks through a mouthful of food. 

Len blinks, trying to clear his mind. “I’m great.” And he truly means it, he realizes. 

Barry says something that sounds like an affirmation as he stuffs an eggroll into his mouth. Len shakes his head, smiling to himself. Dear god, is he terrified of fucking this up. He casts his eyes back down at Barry’s feet in his lap, trying to ground himself. 

. Barry eventually finishes eating, getting up and shoving boxes into the fridge. Then he’s at Len side, tilting Len’s head up to kiss him with no pretext. Barry tastes like soy sauce and ginger, but his lips are already familiar to Len, like he’ll never be able to forget them. Barry pulls Len up by his jacket collar, not letting their lips break apart. He wraps his arms around Len’s shoulder and leads them to his bedroom. 

Len separates from the kiss, but their faces are still close enough for their noses to brush. “Are you sure about this?” 

Barry kisses Len softly, chastely. “Yes. Are you?” 

Len nods and leads Barry back until the back of his knees hit the bed and they topple onto the bed together. Len feels warmth spread across his skin, thoughts of only Barry occupying his mind. Barry’s hands slip under Len’s shirt, coaxing it up, fingers grazing his skin. Len’s blood runs straight down. He shivers and pulls his jacket and shirt off with a little reluctance. He doesn’t show his skin almost ever. He feels a bit self-conscious as Barry’s eyes widen and he grips Len’s arms, which are covered in tattoos. 

“I can’t believe you’ve had these bad-ass tattoos this whole time.” Barry says. He easily flips Len over and onto his back, sitting with his knees on either side of his hips. 

Len bites back a groan at the sudden friction between them. Barry lifts up one of Len’s arms to examine the all-black tattoos weaving and winding from wrist to shoulder. When Barry’s fingers brush over an old scar running from Len’s elbow and halfway down his forearm, Len inhales sharply. Barry notices his reaction and places a gentle kiss on the inside of his wrist. Then Barry pauses, looking like an important thought just crossed his mind. He leans back, their erections rubbing together even more. Len takes a deep breath, steeling himself for the fact that Barry is probably going to say something ridiculous. 

“Do you have a tramp stamp, by any chance?” Barry asks seriously. 

Len shuts his eyes and sighs. 

“Hey, it’s a legitimate question. I _am_ about to see your ass, after all. I should at least be prepared.” Barry raises his eyebrows at Len when he opens his eyes. 

“Fine.” Len says as Barry gets off him and pulls him up to his feet. Len mourns the loss of contact. “You show me your ass and I’ll show you mine.” 

“Deal.” Barry grins and pulls off his own jacket and shirt first. 

Len can feel his heart in his throat as Barry takes off his pants and boxers with no shame. Barry is gorgeous and glowing in the dim light. Len wants to touch him, to trace every line of his body. He moves in a kisses Barry passionately, hands wandering down his chest. Barry lets Len bite down his neck, moaning when he sucks on a sensitive spot. 

Barry is working on unbuckling Len’s belt and unzipping his pants. He reaches into his underwear and strokes a hand over Len’s dick. Len bites harder on Barry’s neck in response, drawing a gasp from his lips. Barry pushes Len’s pants and underwear down, letting Len step out of them before abruptly turning Len around. 

“Don’t judge me.” Len says immediately, staring at the wall. His face heats up a bit in embarrassment. 

“Oh, I’m judging you.” Barry says in return. 

“I got it when I was drunk.” 

“Of course you did.” Barry’s hand lands on Len’s lower back. “You have a tattoo of a penguin wearing a parka the size of my palm above your left butt cheek. This is the most creative tramp stamp I’ve ever seen.” 

Len turns back around to face Barry. He leans in to kiss him before reaching down for his pants. “I think I’ll take my penguin and leave.” 

An incredulous laugh comes from Barry’s mouth as he pulls Len back up. “No, don’t leave. Your ass tattoo is beautiful. But more importantly, your dick is beautiful. You can’t walk away without letting me experience your dick for myself.” He holds Len’s cheeks in his hands, face flushed slightly and grinning. 

“How romantic.” Len replies before pushing Barry playfully back onto the bed. 

Len crawls between Barry’s legs, mouthing his way back down his neck. He nips at Barry’s collarbone, down his torso, to his cock, where he licks a line up it. Len relishes in the taste that’s so _Barry_ , and the strangled sound Barry makes when he takes Barry’s full length in his mouth. Len grabs at Barry’s thighs, fingers gripping firmly as he bobs his head up and down. Barry’s dick keeps hitting the back of his throat. It’s an intoxicating feeling. Len’s teeth graze Barry’s dick lightly, and Barry lets out a long moan, nails scratching Len’s shoulders. Len brings Barry close to the edge, Barry uttering filthy nothings louder and louder. 

Len pulls his mouth off Barry’s cock with a wet pop. He takes a moment to admire Barry, back still arched and fingers now tangled in the sheets. Barry’s face is twisted in pleasure and he’s breathing hard, a light sheen of sweat covering his body. 

Barry brings Len up to kiss him. His tongue finds its way into Len’s mouth before Barry bites at Len’s bottom lip. Len can feel his cock twitch in response. Barry changes positions with Len again, reaching above Len’s head and into his nightstand drawer for lube and a condom. He promptly drops the condom onto Len’s face. Len fumbles to catch it before it falls off his nose. It’s only when he’s ripping the packaging open that he notices that Barry has eyes screwed shut and his fingers up his ass, stretching himself open. 

The breath Len had been about to let out catches in his throat. The little blood left not currently focused on his dick is thrumming in his ears. Barry moans Len’s name when Len grabs onto Barry’s hips to steady both himself and Barry. 

When Barry has three fingers in, his eyes flutter open and meet Len’s intensely. He’s pretty sure he looks completely thunderstruck, frozen in place and mouth hanging open. Barry smirks, reaching for the condom in Len’s hand and rolling it onto Len’s dick swiftly. He removes his fingers from his ass, then coats Len’s dick with more lube. Len’s muscles seize up at Barry’s touch. Barry lines himself up with Len’s cock, and Len’s fingers sink into Barry’s skin hard enough to bruise in preparation as Barry lowers himself down. 

They both hiss as Len enters Barry. Len’s vision goes white for a moment. He breathes deeply as he gives Barry time to adjust. When Barry nods to Len, Len flips them back over to their original positions and starts to move his hips. 

It’s like the two of them have done this before, almost immediately falling into a rhythm. Both of them know what the other wants- needs- with just a look. Len lifts Barry’s hips up higher, earning him a shout from Barry when he hits the right spot. Barry reaches above him, grabbing the headboard for leverage. They’re moving faster now, Len’s head going fuzzy from the feeling of Barry surrounding him. 

Len reaches down between them and strokes Barry’s dick in rhythm with their bodies. Barry keeps moaning Len’s name and it’s driving Len crazy. Len can’t help it when Barry’s name starts to fall from his lips like a prayer. Len can feel himself getting close, his thrusts becoming more erratic. Barry opens his mouth in a silent scream as he comes, knuckles turning white as he grips the headboard hard. Len is so wrapped up in how beautiful Barry is, how he’s clenching around Len’s length, that he comes shortly after, hips stuttering to a stop. 

Barry and Len stare at each other for a long moment, panting and sweating, before Len pulls out and collapses next to Barry. Barry lets go of the headboard, one arm falling across Len’s chest. 

Barry tilts his head towards Len, grinning lopsidedly. “Glad I got to experience that.” He says breathlessly. 

Len finds himself grinning in response. He kisses the top of Barry’s head when he snuggles up close on his chest. What he knows, as he’s being lulled into sleep, is that he’s never felt such a strong affection for anyone before. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My tumblr](http://kitty-514.tumblr.com)


	8. Caffeine Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe always interrupts at the worst times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a short chapter? But hopefully it's okay. Thanks for reading!
> 
> [My tumblr](http://kitty-514.tumblr.com/)

“Sharon is totally guilty. She definitely stole from Janice at the PTA bake sale. There’s blood- or, really, flour- all over her hands.”

“Janice deserved it. She’s a jerk. Did you hear her talking about the other moms like she thinks she’s better than all of them? Plus Janice probably bought all those cookies from the store. There’s no way she baked all of them by herself.” 

“That doesn’t make Sharon any less guilty.” 

“But Sha-” Len starts to respond, but Barry shoves an eggroll into his mouth. “’his is no’ ‘air.”

“Yeah, yeah, not fair. We both know you support the woman stealing baked goods.” Barry says, smiling. 

Len tries talking around the eggroll again, but none of his words come out understandable. 

Barry raises his eyebrows in amusement. “That’s gross. What happened to your table manners?” He takes the remaining eggroll from Len, finishing it off. 

“Do I really need table manners when we’re sitting on the floor watching Judge Judy? We’re even eating leftover Chinese for breakfast.” Len catches Barry moving a pair of chopsticks towards him, and opens his mouth to take the piece of chicken from between them. 

The two of them had been up since seven in the morning, waking up with limbs tangled together. Len hadn’t had such a good night’s rest in weeks. Barry was a warm presence, comforting and safe. When Len woke up, the sunlight slanting through the blinds and creating patterns across Barry’s face, his breath had been stolen away. Barry’s eyes fluttered open, landing on Len’s face and making his stomach churn, before he stretched out across Len’s chest. He smiled sweetly, sleepily, at Len. Then Barry’s stomach grumbled loudly. 

“Noo.” Barry had groaned. “I’m so comfortable, stomach.” 

Len huffed out a laugh, allowing Barry to drag him out of bed. They ended up sitting on the floor in front of the T.V, watching Saturday morning shows. 

Barry and Len both move around each other to reach for food and Barry somehow ends up in Len’s lap. Instead of getting off Len, Barry leans forward and kisses him deeply. Then he turns around, his back against Len’s front, settling between Len’s legs. Len abandons his quest for food to wrap his arms around Barry’s waist and rest his head in the crook of Barry’s neck. The oversized sweater Barry is wearing tangles up in Len’s hands, soft and inviting. Barry is so warm all the time and he eats so much and smells so good and he’s so beautiful and- 

Len tightens his arms around Barry. He raises his head up, stopping his train of thought. Barry is almost too much to take in. And it’s just now hitting him that the two of them are _actually_ together. 

Barry suddenly slaps Len on the cheek suddenly, startling him back into reality. 

“Sharon is about to go down.” Barry says, just in time for Judge Judy to declare Sharon guilty. 

“C’mon.” Len replies. “The justice system is so corrupt.” He pinches Barry’s sides lightly. 

Barry squirms and lifts a takeout box above his head. “Don’t even think about tickling me unless you want a box of rice all over you.” 

“That was not tickling. That was pinching.” A corner of Len’s mouth quirks up. “Are you actually ticklish?” 

Barry turns to look at Len over his shoulder, rice still above his head. “No.” He says, not at all convincing. 

“Liar.” Len reaches up and grabs the box from Barry’s hands. 

Barry makes an incoherent noise, twisting around the rest of the way towards Len before Len can make another move. “I feel like you forget that I have super-speed. I could be on the opposite side of the room before you even get close to touching me.” 

Len chuckles, putting the takeout box down. He pulls Barry in closer. “Then I’ll just have to strike when you least expect it.” He acts quickly, flipping Barry onto his back on the floor, straddling him. 

Barry grins up at him brightly, eyes just as bright. Len’s pulse picks up at the sight. God, he feels like a giddy schoolboy with a crush. Len brushes his thumb over Barry’s cheek briefly, wanting to memorize every freckle, every crease that forms in his skin when he smiles or furrows his brow or wrinkles his nose. 

Oh. Fuck. Len comes to a sudden realization. It takes all of .2 seconds for all the oxygen to leave his lungs. He’s completely numb and feeling everything all at once at the same time. 

But he has to push past that fast because Barry’s door opens and in walks Joe, Iris, and Wally. Neither Len nor Barry react quickly enough. They’re both frozen in place for a second too long in their compromising position. Joe looks ready to crush the box of donuts in his hands. Iris and Wally both look shocked. 

“I knew it. I knew something was up.” Joe grinds out, more to himself than anyone else in the room. 

Len and Barry scramble to stand up. They both straighten out their clothes awkwardly. Len is glad that at least they’re both dressed. He’s not glad that Joe found him on top of Barry on the floor. 

Joe clenches his jaw for a moment, then relaxes it. Iris is staring at her dad in concern, and Wally is staring at Iris as if searching for an explanation. 

“Joe, please let me explain.” Barry says. 

Joe raises his hand, stopping Barry from talking more. “You don’t need to say anything, Barry. Not yet. I think I have an idea of what’s going on. I should have called before stopping by, anyway.” 

“I can leave.” Len says. He starts to head for the door, but Joe stops him. 

“No.” Joe says to Len. “We need to have a talk.” 

Len really doesn’t know what to say. Barry is standing behind him, eyes wide and hands shaking a bit. He tries to find help somewhere else, but only comes into eye contact with Iris. Iris raises an eyebrow and gives a subtle nod in Joe’s direction. 

Len turns back to Joe. “Fair enough.” He’s probably going to regret this. 

*** 

Len tries not to shift uncomfortably under Joe’s intense gaze. He’s at Jitter’s with Joe, Iris, and Wally. All three are staring at him from across the table silently. Barry isn’t with them and that honestly makes Len a little afraid for his life. 

“If you hurt Barry, I’ll kill you.” Both Joe and Iris say at the same time. 

“What they said.” Wally adds before taking a long drink of his coffee. 

Len nods. “Got it.” He picks at the cardboard sleeve on his coffee cup, unsure of what to do with himself. He’s hoping this is over quickly. 

Iris’s phone dings. She glances down at it. “I’ve got to go in for work.” She pats Joe on the back. “Don’t be too rough on Snart, dad.” She gathers her purse and coffee, throwing a small smile in Len’s direction before heading for the door. 

Wally stands up, too, and starts to follow her. “What she said.” He says to Joe. He shoots a semi-sympathetic smile to Len before leaving. 

Well, at least those two didn’t seem too angry with him. But Len feels even more fear for his life now that he’s alone with Joe. 

Joe sighs, rubbing at his temples. “How? When?” He asks, referring to Len and Barry’s relationship. 

Len hesitates momentarily. “The night of the pillow fort right before you came into Barry’s apartment.” He responds, treading dangerous waters. “I kissed Barry and it kind of went forward from there. We established that we’re dating last night.” 

“I can tell that Barry has been happier since the night of the pillow fort.” Joe admits. “Which must mean you’re doing something right, even if I don’t understand why he chose you.” 

Len keeps his mouth shut, shrugging off the veiled insult. He honestly wants to make a good impression on Joe. He knows what the man already thinks of him and his past. 

Joe barrages him with a load of questions after that. One after another for at least an hour. Len knows that Joe is just being protective of Barry, looking out for him, but he’s feeling overwhelmed. It’s question after question that Len keeps answering. How Joe manages to think of so many questions is beyond him. He feels like he’s being interrogated. And it’s wearing down on him. 

“How do I know you’re serious about this?” Joe asks, looking as worn out as Len feels. “That you won’t turn around and hurt Barry? You’ve done it before.” 

Len finally breaks after all the questions that have been thrown at him, snapping out his response. “Because I think I’m in love with Barry.” He blurts out, unthinking. 

Joe falls silent immediately, a blank expression on his face. Len crushes his empty coffee cup in his hand. Oh, lord. He did not just say that out loud. Please tell him he didn’t say that out loud. 

It’s a tense two minutes of absolute quiet between them. Len’s convinced that Joe is going to reach across the table and strangle him in front of the whole coffee shop. But then Joe stands up, still staring at Len. 

“Come over for dinner with Barry next Saturday.” Joe picks up his own coffee cup to throw it away. He comes back to the table, speaking softly. “Barry seems to see something worthwhile in you. Convince me that it’s true. Don’t let me down, Snart.” Then he’s out the door, leaving Len behind. 

Len finally manages to loosen his grip on his coffee cup. He barely holds himself back from groaning loudly and banging his head on the table. He wishes he knew how to swear in more than one language because he really needs a lot more words to cover his embarrassment. He can’t believe he told Joe West of all people that he might love Barry. And what’s worse is that Len knows that what he said is true. 


	9. Cooking Up a Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner time with the Wests.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that it took me so long to update. Life got super hectic all of a sudden and it was hard to find the energy to write. The next couple of updates may be delayed as well, but I'll try to stay on schedule.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [My tumblr](http://kitty-514.tumblr.com/)

Len is standing in front of Joe West’s door, resisting the urge to wring his hands together. A biting wind stings his face and numbs his nose. He wouldn’t admit it, but he’s afraid that Joe won’t think he’s good enough for Barry. God knows he’s not even convinced himself that he’s anywhere near good enough for Barry. Of course Barry was the one who said ‘yes’ to dating Len, but he deserves so much more than Len is sure he can provide.

A warm hand grips Len’s cold one and gives a reassuring squeeze. Len meets Barry’s eyes and Barry offers up a gorgeous smile. Len’s breath catches in his throat briefly. He can do this. He can do this for Barry. If there’s one thing Len can do, it’s fake confidence. 

Barry steps in front of Len and opens the door. He drags Len into the house behind him. Len has already been here before, but the house is still surprisingly warm and inviting. Len and Barry take their coats off by the door, the cold weather shut out now that the door is closed. Iris and Wally are in the living room, sitting on the floor and playing Monopoly at the coffee table. Iris groans dramatically when she ends up in jail. Wally applauds her sarcastically. It reminds Len of him and Lisa. He relaxes a bit. 

“Hey, you two.” Iris says, smiling as Wally waves at them. She stands up to give Barry a hug. Then, much to Len’s surprise, Iris hugs him, too. 

Len freezes with his arms at his side. When Iris pulls back to plop back on the floor next to Wally, Barry is giving Len an amused look. Len gives him a pointed look back, daring him to say something about the hug. Barry even seems like he might take up the challenge when Joe appears from the kitchen. 

“Hi there.” Joe says, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel. He hugs Barry, then shakes Len’s hand awkwardly. “Dinner won’t be ready for a while. Why don’t you join the Monopoly game?” 

Wally perks up. “Yeah. We’ll restart so you two can join in.” 

“What? No.” Iris responds. “I’m winning right now. You just want to restart so you aren’t losing anymore.” 

Wally stares at her as he swipes an arm across the board, knocking money, cards, and pieces on the floor. “Whoops. I’m so clumsy. Guess we have no choice now.” 

Iris gawks at him a moment, then slaps him lightly on the arm. “Sore loser.” She says under her breath. 

Len shakes his head and sits on the floor, across from Wally. Barry chuckles and sits next to him, their shoulders brushing. 

“I call being banker.” Barry says as he gather up the fake money from the floor. 

“Last time you were banker, you mysteriously ended up with the most cash.” Iris says, sending Barry a jokingly suspicious look. 

“Barry Allen stealing money?” Len says, raising an eyebrow in a teasing manner. “I’m so proud of you.” 

“I did _not_ steal.” Barry feigns offense. “I’m just really good at Monopoly.” 

Joe’s incredulous laughter carries out from the kitchen. “Barry, you’re terrible at Monopoly. We’ve been playing since you were eleven, and you haven’t improved at all since then.” 

Barry hoards the money closer to him. “Slander me all you want, but I’m dealing out this money either way.” 

*** 

Half an hour later, the smell of pulled pork is wafting out of the kitchen and Len is winning at Monopoly. He owns half the properties and two railroads. Barry goes bankrupt a few minutes later. He curses Joe for jinxing him. 

“I heard that.” Joe calls lightheartedly from the kitchen. 

Barry laughs, resting his chin on Len’s shoulder. Len kisses him softly on the forehead without thinking. He catches sight of Joe standing in the kitchen doorway, watching both him and Barry. Joe smiles- actually smiles- softly at Len, offering a small nod in his direction. Len blinks, not quite sure how to react. He feels like he must be in a dream if Joe is being nice to him. Thankfully, Joe doesn’t seem to expect a reaction, moving to sit next to Iris at the coffee table. 

“Deal me in, bankrupt banker.” Joe says to Barry. “I want to try my luck in the property market.” 

“Ha ha, make fun of me for losing so soon.” Barry says. He gives Joe starting money, though a bit grudgingly. 

Barry gives Len a sort of warning look that Len can’t quite make sense of before leaning back as if waiting for a show to start. Len learns about ten minutes later what the look was about, if the fact that Joe is coming in a close second behind Len is any indicator to how good Joe is at Monopoly. Joe turns and smirks at Len, clearly challenging him. Len maintains eye contact with him while he rolls for his turn, accepting the competition. 

Barry glances between them, rolls his eyes, and gets up to go to the kitchen. “Food’s ready.” He calls out a moment later. “Unless Joe and Len want to play Monopoly for the next ten years.” 

Joe keeps a serious expression on his face until Iris lets out an exaggerated sigh and leaves for the kitchen. He glances over at her and cracks a grin. Len can’t help but smile a bit himself, though he tries to hide it by getting up and following Iris. He offers to set the table with Barry, both of them moving around each other comfortably, even as Joe and Wally crowd into the kitchen to get the rest of the food put together. Barry reaches around Len to set a plate down, then straightens up and kisses Len briefly. 

“No PDA at the dinner table.” Wally says, shoving his body between the two of them. 

“Afraid of catching cooties?” Len jokes. 

Wally gives him a withering look, one certainly picked up from Joe. He pushes Len to the side with the excuse that he needs to put the bread down. Then everyone is pulling out chairs and sitting down to eat. Compliments pass over to Joe about his cooking, which soon slides into easy conversation and laughter. 

It’s been a while since Len was so relaxed around other people. The West family is energetic and talkative, creating a content atmosphere. Len never had the opportunity know what an actual family was. Never had a place he could truly call _home_. But right here and now, sitting at the table next to Barry and enjoying good food and good company, he understands why people yearn for this sort of thing. 

Barry’s hand slips into Len’s under the table, rubbing gentle circles on Len’s skin with his thumb. Len swallows hard, a strange feeling curling in his stomach. He _wants_. Wants to keep Barry, even if it means fighting for him. Wants to keep this warm joy that he rarely experiences. Wants to really belong in this home. It’s like nothing he’s ever felt, but he won’t run away from this feeling. Not this time. 

*** 

Joe hands Len a clean plate to dry. Len takes it and wipes the water off with a kitchen towel, vaguely listening to Barry, Iris, and Wally chattering in the living room. 

“You know,” Joe says quietly, interrupting Len’s reverie, “I was suspicious of you at first. Didn’t know your true intentions when it came to Barry.” 

Len stores the now dry plate in the cabinet next to him. “I don’t blame you. I don’t have… the best past.” 

Joe hands him a glass. “I know. But seeing you and Barry together, how you look at one another, it’s made me realize that you were telling me the truth back at the coffee shop.” 

Len pauses in wiping the glass down. Oh. Right. When he accidentally blurted out that he might love Barry. He hasn’t quite gotten that incident out of his mind. He opens his mouth to say something, but can’t really find any words. 

Joe grips Len’s shoulder tightly. “Hey. I know how scary it can be- being with someone, falling in love. Trust me, though, as much as you seem to adore Barry, I know that Barry adores you more.” 

Len meets Joe’s gaze, nodding hesitantly. “Thank you.” He replies, almost inaudibly. 

Joe’s eyebrows raise up high. “Did Leonard Snart just thank me? I must be in an alternate universe.” He laughs when Len rolls his eyes in response. 

“What’s taking you two so long?” Wally yells from the living room. “You better not be having a heart-to-heart without me.” 

“We’re coming. Just hold your horses.” Joe lets his hand fall from Len’s shoulder. “Is it so hard to get some appreciation for doing the cooking _and_ cleaning?” He turns and heads into the living room. 

Len finishes drying the glass in his hand, setting in the cabinet, before following Joe’s lead. He’s a little dazed. His head is buzzing with too many thoughts. The fact that the West family is willing to treat him as one of their own. The fact that Joe West of all people approves of him being with Barry. The fact that Joe believes Barry may return Len’s own strong feelings. 

Len takes a deep breath, watching Barry for a long moment when he sits down. Barry turns to him, a smile playing on his lips. Len smiles back softly, captured by those beautiful hazel eyes. It’s in Len’s nature to shy away from loving people. Love has only been reserved for Lisa and Mick. It’s been a rule of thumb for him his entire life. Then here comes Barry Allen, changing everything Len has ever held close. It’s terrifying. It’s exhilarating. 

It’s destroying all Len knows to be true. 

But Len is okay with that. 


	10. Close to Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for some feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy sorry for being gone for so long! Finals ate up all my time but now that they're over I should have extra time for writing. We're also gonna pretend that 1x15 of LoT didn't happen, for the sake of the story y'know. Thanks for reading!

Len sways on his feet, ears ringing with the sound of all the Legends talking over one another. That, coupled with the bright lights of S.T.A.R. Labs, is starting to give him a headache. He leans to the side and props himself up with an elbow on the nearest desk. He watches as Cisco’s head swivels back and forth between each person, trying to keep up with all the requests for improvements on costumes and weapons. It would be a lot more comical if Len didn’t feel like he’s about to fall over from exhaustion.

“Hey.” Barry says when he sidles up next to Len in his S.T.A.R. Labs sweatshirt. He slips a warm hand under Len’s shirt, rubbing small circles on his back when no one is looking their way. “If this keeps up any longer, Cisco’s going to end up with a broken neck. Are they always like this?” Barry gestures vaguely at the Legends. 

Len sighs, the tension in his shoulders dissipating a fraction. “They have their days.” 

The corner of Barry’s mouth lifts up. “You like them, though, don’t you?” 

Len gives him a long suffering look. “I could definitely go for a vacation without any time traveling and without being stuck in a time ship with seven other people.” 

Barry smiles at him sweetly, his hand briefly sliding over to Len’s hip before he lets it drop to his side. But there’s an edge of sadness in his eyes that Len can’t ignore. Len searches Barry’s face, as if he’d be able to find out what was wrong from the freckles and subtle wrinkles there. Barry avoids his gaze, turning to walk over to Cisco instead. 

Cisco spots him and a look of relief passes over his face. “Barry!” He shouts over all the other voices. “I’m so glad you’re here. Please save me.” 

Barry chuckles, working his way into the middle of the group and clapping Cisco on the shoulder. “Sorry, buddy, but I’m just here to grab some files I left.” He goes to a nearby desk, opening a drawer and rummaging through it. 

Len pushes up from the desk he was leaning on. He catches Mick giving him a weird look from the back of the group. Mick points to Barry, raising an eyebrow in question. Len shakes his head, letting him know that they can discuss things later. He hadn’t really told anyone except Lisa about him and Barry, and that was because she caught the two of them together at his apartment. 

When Barry comes back his way, files in hand, Len gently grabs one of his arms. Barry stops. They stare at each other for a long, silent moment. Suddenly there’s the sound of glass breaking. Cisco starts bemoaning whatever just broke and the Legends are causing even more of a commotion. Rip sighs loudly and melodramatically. Len takes the opportunity to lead him and Barry to an empty room a few doors down. He lets go of Barry’s arm. Barry sits down heavily in the nearest chair, placing his files down on the table next to him. He doesn't look at Len. 

Len pulls up a chair and sits down with his legs on either side of Barry’s. Then he waits patiently, studying Barry’s face, which seems older somehow. Len briefly wonders how much older he must look to Barry. 

“Tell me.” Len prompts Barry softly when a minute has gone by. 

Barry finally meets Len’s eye. “It’s a long story. Are you sure you want to listen to all of it?” 

“Yes.” Len answers without hesitation. 

Barry blinks, as if he wasn’t quite expecting someone to be willing to listen to him. It elicits a tug at Len’s chest. He should've been here for Barry, but he let Legends work get in the way. Barry swallows, then fills Len in on everything that happened while he was gone, even when he lost his speed. Both of them talk about what happened, Len wanting to make sure that Barry feels like Len is really here for him. After, Barry listens to Len recount his own misadventures, wincing at the part where Len almost lost his hand. 

When everything is out in the open, Barry sighs and leans forward to kiss Len chastely. “Seems like we you could have used a hand out there.” He jokes, leaning his forehead against Len’s. 

Len leans back, amusement gracing his features at first at Barry’s pun. However, he ends up frowning soon after when a nagging thought starts to form again in the back of his mind. One that he’d been trying to avoid. 

Barry must think Len is upset at him because he starts apologizing. “Sorry. That was too soon, wasn’t it? I didn’t mean to-” 

“I love you.” Len says suddenly. He’s too caught up in his own thoughts to even realize at first that he’s said it out loud. 

But Barry looks too stricken for Len not to come to the conclusion that he really did just tell Barry that he loves him. This is not how he wanted to tell Barry. Too late now. 

Barry opens his mouth then shuts it with an audible _click_. His face goes completely blank. Len pushes himself and his chair back a foot. Okay, don’t panic. 

“Say something, Barry!” Cisco shouts. 

Len’s head snaps to the doorway, where Cisco and the Legends are all gathered. Okay, maybe panic a little. 

Cisco at least has the decency to seem a little embarrassed at his outburst. Everyone else except for Rip looks surprised, their gazes switching back-and-forth between Len and Barry. Barry runs a hand across his face, muttering a curse under his breath before he stands up and storms out of the room. Okay, panic a lot. 

Len gets up and rushes after him, his shoulder slamming into Ray’s on the way out. Len and Mick exchange eye contact momentarily. At least Mick doesn’t look too upset at him for keeping his relationship a secret. He still feels a pang of guilt, though, for not telling him. Len pushes that feeling aside to deal with later. 

It takes Len a few minutes to find Barry. He’s sitting outside on the curb bordering the parking lot, kicking at stray gravel. Len sits down next to him gingerly, not touching him. Barry quickly wipes at the tears streaming down his face, sniffling a bit. The guilt comes back full force. 

“That was too soon, wasn’t it?” Len asks quietly. “We can pretend like I never said anything, if you want to.” 

“No.” Barry replies, much to Len’s surprise. “I’m the one who should apologize.” 

Len stares at him, waiting for him to explain. 

Barry huffs out a laugh that turns into a hiccup. He wipes at his face again, trying to catch fresh tears. “I didn’t even- I haven’t-” Barry takes a deep breath. “When you said that you love me, I realized that I haven’t even begun to sort out my feelings for you. Of course, I really like you. I know that. But I didn’t want to think about ‘love’ because I was afraid that if I did, it might scare you off. It might scare me off. I didn’t want to risk it. And it sounds stupid now. I'm sorry.” 

Len stares at the ground, dragging a stray piece of gravel across the asphalt with the toe of his boot. He sees Barry, out of the corner of his eye, start to reach out for him, but then bring his hand back to his lap. Barry’s brow furrows in concentration. 

“Why?” Barry asks. 

The one-word question hangs heavier than Len expected. He knows what Barry is asking about, but it’s difficult to put everything into words. He’s afraid he’ll mess up, but he has to try. For Barry’s sake. 

“Because you’re… you.” Len barely manages not to cringe at himself. Bad start. Try again. He meets Barry’s eyes. “You’ve got a smile that could stop anyone dead in their tracks, and a laugh to match. And you’re not as scared to take chances as you think you are. You’re not scared give second chances to people, either. Where would _we_ be if you hadn't? I’ve never met someone so kind and daring and beautiful. You make me want to be a better person, as cliché as that sounds. You're such a goddamn _good_ person. I don’t know how to stop thinking about you or how to stop missing you when we’re apart. It drives me insane sometimes, how much I care for you. I’m a fucking mess because of you. But… I wouldn’t give any of this- I wouldn’t give _you_ up for the world. I can't imagine being with anyone else.” 

Len shuts up, not wanting to keep talking for fear that he may never stop spilling every secret that he’s ever held onto. Someday he will, but not today- not right now. 

Barry has his arms wrapped around himself, new tears spilling down his cheeks. “Len.” He looks like he wants to say more but can’t find the right words. 

“You don’t have to say anything.” Len replies gently. “Give yourself time to sort things out. I’ll still be here when you do.” He’s never wanted to touch Barry so badly, but he knows that he shouldn’t. 

Barry tries to give him a sincere smile, though it turns out shaky. “I know.” 


	11. Common Ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More feelings abound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally time for the last chapter. I've had an enjoyable time writing this fic and I'm so grateful to everyone who's read it. I'm so thankful for you! I hope you enjoy!

Len wakes up to the sound of someone banging on his door at two in the morning. He groans and rolls out of bed, expertly avoiding Streak reaching for him with her claws. He pulls on a shirt that he finds on the floor.

More knocking. Then silence. Len rushes to the door, slamming his knee on the couch in the dark. He swears a little too loudly. By the time Len makes it to the door, unlocks it, and opens it, Barry is already waiting at the elevator down the hall. 

“Barry?” Len calls out, still groggy and blinking at the lighted hallway. 

Barry stiffens visibly. He turns around and flashes over to Len. He looks a little bit guilty. 

“Hey.” Barry says, pitching his voice low to not disturb the neighbors. “Sorry. I know it’s early-” 

“Very early.” Len interrupts. 

“Very early.” Barry continues. “And you’d probably rather be sleeping, but I couldn’t sleep, and…” He trails off, deflating a bit. 

Len sighs quietly. He grabs Barry’s jacket collar and yanks him into his apartment. He shuts the door and re-locks it before taking Barry’s hand to lead him to his bedroom. He hits his other knee on the couch on the way back, cursing just as loudly. Barry tightens his grip on Len’s hand. 

“Watch out for the cat.” Len says, pulling his shirt off. He throws it back on the floor where he found it, then climbs back into bed. Streak lets out a tiny squeak. 

“Len?” Barry asks quietly. “Are you sure this is okay?” 

Len peeks his head out from under the covers. Barry is standing at the foot of the bed, wringing his hands together. They hadn’t really talked since the incident at S.T.A.R. Labs a couple weeks ago. Len had forgotten in his sleepy state that things were supposed to still be awkward between them. He’s too tired to care right now, though. 

“Yes.” Len responds. “It’s okay.” 

Barry hesitates a moment before taking off his jacket, shoes, and pants. He slides under the covers that Len is holding up for him. Streak immediately cuddles up against Barry’s side. Barry absentmindedly scratches her behind her ears. 

Len can just make out Barry’s features in the dark. He wants to _touch_. He wants to touch Barry so badly. Len has had that constant ache for two weeks straight, and now he’s on the verge of breaking. 

Barry takes a deep breath. He turns his head and stares at Len for a long moment- what feel likes hours. Barry eventually reaches out a tentative hand. Len holds his breath as Barry’s fingers run across his cheek lightly. Len feels like he’s underwater, head swimming with the things he wants to do and say. He leans forward to kiss Barry but stops short, their faces an inch apart. 

A beat of silence. A beat where neither of them moves. 

“I love you.” Barry whispers, low and rough. 

Len couldn’t get his lungs to work even if he wanted to. It’s as if the rest of the world doesn’t exist anymore. It’s just him and Barry. 

“I love you, too.” Len whispers back once he regains control of his lungs. 

Barry closes the gap between them, kissing Len chastely. Len runs his fingers through Barry’s hair and deepens the kiss. His whole body is on fire. He’ll never quite understand how one person can make him feel so much all at once, but for once he’s fine with not knowing. 

Barry shifts his body closer to Len’s. Streak jumps up with a surprised meow and runs off the bed. 

Barry breaks their kiss. “Sorry, Streak!” He calls out after her retreating form. 

Len chuckles and grabs Barry’s hips to move Barry on top of him. Barry settles with his legs on either side of Len and starts to kiss him again. Barry’s hands land on Len’s bare chest, while Len’s hands sneak down to the crook formed between Barry’s hips and thighs. They stay like that for a long time, making out like two teenagers who’ve never been alone for more than two minutes. Barry is the one who breaks the kiss, sitting back on Len’s thighs, hands sliding down to rest on Len’s stomach. 

Len reaches over to turn on the lamp on his nightstand while they both catch their breath, panting loudly. Barry is a sight to behold in the dim light. His hair is a mess and his lips are a delicious red, still wet with saliva. Len's stomach fills with butterflies. He doesn't want to take his eyes off Barry. 

“Why?” Len asks suddenly, teasingly. 

A grin graces Barry’s lips. He reaches to run a hand across Len’s shaved hair briefly. 

“Because you’re… you.” Barry says jokingly, mimicking Len’s voice. 

“Not fair.” Len responds, laughing. 

Barry laughs, too. “Okay, okay. I’ll be serious.” Barry shifts his weight forward, grinning wider when Len groans involuntarily when their dicks rub together through what Len deems too many layers of fabric. 

Barry starts to speak again after taking a shaky breath. “You’re a different man than I initially took you for, Leonard Snart. When we first met, if someone had told me that someday I’d be sitting here, in love with you, I would have thought they were crazy. But I’ve seen enough now to know that this isn’t the craziest thing to ever happen. But, if I’m really going to get sappy, I’d tell you that I’ve been so much happier and everything’s been so much easier with you in my life. You care so deeply for me, more than anyone I’ve ever been with. And, yes, it’s been terrifying. Broken people like us aren’t meant to have happy endings. I'm still afraid that this is all a dream. I had tried to not fall too fast for you, but I know that I was only ignoring the fact that I had already fallen. You’re gorgeous and you’re everything I could wish for and you’re _here_. We're a fucking mess together, which is all I could ask for.” 

Barry stops talking, looking at Len expectantly, shyly. Len pulls Barry down to kiss him briefly. Barry sighs contentedly. He rests his forehead on Len's, eyes closed. He slips a hand under the hem of Len’s sweatpants, long fingers vibrating on his dick. A surprised noise escapes from Len’s mouth. 

“Since when could you do that?” Len asks breathlessly. 

Barry chuckles. “For a while. I was just keeping it a secret.” He says in a conspiratorial voice. 

“That’s a little cruel.” Len says. His back arches up off the bed when Barry slides his hand into Len’s underwear and pulls the same vibrating trick. “Holy fuck, Barry.” 

Barry nips at Len’s neck teasingly as his hand grips Len’s cock, stroking painfully slow. Len slips his own hands into Barry’s underwear to grip his ass. Barry moans into the crook of Len’s neck in response, hips falling forward to grind his erection against Len’s. 

Len almost whines when Barry’s hand leaves his dick. Barry smiles and kisses Len on the nose before he takes his underwear off. Len takes the hint to take the rest of his clothes off as well, maneuvering beneath Barry. They both throw their clothes on the floor after Barry strips off his shirt. 

Len relishes in being able to feel Barry’s skin against his own once more. He runs his fingers up Barry’s spine and watches- feels- as Barry shivers under his touch. With his other hand, Len searches around somewhat awkwardly in the nightstand drawer. He finds what he’s looking for, throwing the bottle of the lube next to their bodies on the bed. Then he throws a condom at Barry’s face. Barry catches it against his cheek expertly. 

“Nice reflexes.” Len says playfully. 

“It’s not like I could compete with The Flash’s reflexes or anything but…” Barry responds jokingly, laughing with Len. He holds the condom up in the air. “My turn?” 

Len nods. “Go for it.” If there’s anyone he’s going to give up control for, it’s Barry. 

Barry trades the condom package for the lube. Len relaxes as Barry adjust their positions, Barry between Len’s legs, which are resting on Barry’s shoulders. Barry squirts some lube on his fingers then positions one finger at Len’s entrance. He pushes in slowly, patiently, up to his first knuckle. He lets Len adjust to the new intrusion before moving his finger back out again. When Barry moves his hand again, he leans forward to kiss Len. Len buries his fingers in Barry’s hair, pulling slightly. 

Barry inserts a second finger soon after, repeating the same motions. By the time Barry inserts a third finger, Len feels like he’ll go insane if he doesn’t have Barry inside him soon. 

Len breaks their kiss. “Barry…” 

Barry raises an eyebrow and goddamn smirks. He angles his hand just right, hitting the perfect spot, and vibrates his hand. Len’s hand arches off the bed even further than before and he moans loudly, fingers pulling harder at Barry’s hair. Barry mimics Len’s moan, head tilting back in response to Len’s grip. 

Len actually does let out a whine when Barry pulls his fingers out of Len’s ass. Len blushes at the noise he made and Barry looks like he just won the lottery to be able to pull that sound out of Len. The pride on Barry’s face doesn’t disappear as he grabs the condom and takes it out of its packaging. Len takes it from him, rolling the condom onto Barry’s cock, fighting down his blush. 

Barry puts lube on his dick before lining with Len’s entrance. He grips Len’s shoulders steadily. Barry looks at Len with hooded hazel eyes as he pushes inside Len. Len caresses Barry’s cheek, head hazy and full of pleasure and the feeling of being stretched out and _Barry_. Barry begins moving his hips when Len gives him a nod. 

As they move together, working out a rhythm, Len can’t help but feel complete as Barry’s cock slides in and out of him. They're unhurried at first, just wanting to be in the moment with one another. Barry starts stroking Len’s length and pushes his hips up, aiming for Len’s prostate. Barry hits it suddenly and Len’s vision goes white for a moment. He’s making the most obscene noises but he’s far past being embarrassed about it now. Barry's face is twisted in pleasure, beautiful in every way. The pace of their hips picks up, and Barry’s hand on Len’s dick speeds up, too.

Len’s nails scratch up Barry’s back. Both of them are sweating and panting, almost primal in their need for one another. Len feels the pressure building in his balls, punctuated by each thrust of Barry’s hips. It's almost too much for him and not enough at the same time. Barry kisses Len deeply, passionately, and Len comes hard and hot all over Barry’s hand. He’s pretty sure his vision goes completely black for a second. Barry pounds into Len one, two, three more times before he stops moving suddenly, reaching orgasm.

Barry pulls out of Len after a minute, moves Len’s legs off his shoulders, and collapses on top of him, licking Len’s cum off his hand. Barry's breath is warm on Len's neck. Their chests move against each other as they lay there, breathing hard. Barry scoots down so that he can rest his head on Len’s chest, their legs tangling together. Len kisses him on his head gently, the smell of sweat mingling with the shampoo Barry uses. Len’s eyes flutter closed, exhaustion sinking in. Barry is already passed out, a peaceful expression on his face. Len can feel himself on the verge of sleep, too, only one thought on his mind. 

The first thing Leonard Snart knows: he is, and always will be, in love with Barry Allen. 


End file.
